"And once the storm is over, you won't remember how you made it through, how you managed to survive. You won't even be sure, whether the storm is really over. But one thing is certain When you come out of the storm, you won't be the same person who walked in. That's what the storm is all about" - Haruki Murakami
Over the past few months I have learned some pretty useful lessons. Some of them I set out to learn and some of them pushed me down and forced me to learn them before I could get back up. Either way I am grateful for the opportunity to learn. Even though I have listed them all below, these are all things you may have to learn for yourself. Someone could have presented me with this list a few months ago, and I may have agreed with them. But know I have the experience to back my knowledge, and fuel my decision making.
Be with someone who requires your to grow and gives you the space and time to allow you to do so.
Choosing a partner is hard...obviously. Especially because when you choose someone, they may not choose you back. But there is one thing that I have learned and that is the person that you end up with should be someone that requires you and challenges you to grow as an individual. No one is perfect, and usually the person that knows you best is your partner or spouse. There opinion should matter as long as it is coming from a place of good intentions. However, the important thing to realize in this situation is that change does not happen over night. One can not just state the change needed and expect it to happen. It can be a slow moving but beneficial process. If you are with someone that puts forth this challenge for you and steps back and allows you to find your path, then I think he/she is a keeper.
Side note: Love someone, flaws and all. Don't go trying to fix a person, you can't.
Even the people that knocked you down deserve a thank you.
I saw a quote on Pinterest that really struck a chord with me. It goes "sometimes the painful things can teach us lessons we didn't think we needed to know" - Amy Poehler. This just made me grateful for all the painful things that have happened to me that I didn't appreciate at the time, that I wished were never happening to me. Those situations made me see and learn things that I didn't know before. Most likely I am not going to go up to each person and thank them directly, but I am grateful, which is better then holding resentment towards them.
Unwelcome change can be the best kind of change - It challenges you into personal growth.
I am a creature of habit, so when someone or something forces me into changing I do not generally come with open arms - whether it be pleasant or not. Sometimes it will take just a small nudge to get me going or maybe a full on kick on the butt. However I have come to enjoy this process. It lays out a whole new set of challenges to be faced with and frankly it mixes things up and gives you something more to do.
A constant positive attitude is hard, but will make you feel better and do better.
Personally I believe keeping a positive attitude will get you through even the hardest of days yet it is not always easy. Sometimes it is just easier to sulk, frown, place blame, go back to sleep or cave when others around you are being negative. But I have found that putting in that extra effort to stay positive is well worth it. Happiness is a choice as they say, and I choose that over the alternative. The decisions I have made while invoking a positive attitude have been far more beneficial. I try to abide my these rules - never make a decision when angry/sad, karaoke car parties when feeling down, don't go to bed angry, say yes to all invitations and smile and laugh with others even when I am not in the mood. These are not all things that I consciously tried to do before but they have really helped. Positivity and negativity are both contagious, which one do you want to be known for passing on?
Other lessons I have learned:
** When you can't help your self, help others - Help will come.
** When confronted with a problem, first look at your contribution. You can only fix you.
** Surround yourself with people who are where you want to be. Constant inspiration.
** Mistakes are proof that you are trying, so smile through them and try again.
** Find a hobby thats just for you. For me this was Bikram Yoga
** Without friends by your side.....good luck!
I may not be, who I ought to be - I know I am not all I want to be..... But I've come a long way, from who I used to be - And I won't give up on becoming what I know I can be!