Wednesday, September 18, 2013

Talk Proper - My Daily Personal Challenge

"Words not only affect us temporarily--they change us." David Riesman 
For those of you who have had the absolute pleasure of meeting me, you would most definitely agree with me in saying that I love to talk, or ramble on. Now that does not necessarily mean that everything that comes out of my mouth is meaningful, helpful or kind for that matter. And it was not until I started noticing how other peoples words were affecting me that I realized I am most definitely influencing peoples days with what comes out of my mouth. So I thought if I am going to insist on talking to anyone and everyone, I may as well follow the life lesson to only open my mouth when I have something good to say. If not, I will say nothing at all. 

 ``Words have the power to destroy or heal. When words are both true and kind they can change our world``- The Buddha 

Has any one ever said anything to you that forever changed the way you spoke, acted or thought. Many do not realize just careful they need to be with the words that they speak as they have a tremendous ability to heal or hurt. Especially in the world today when swear words, politically incorrect words and hurtful words are thrown around as if they hold no meaning. Everyone already knows that actions speak louder then words, but that does not mean that our words no longer hold meaning and can be used carelessly. As I have been at the wrong end of someones words that have forever changed the way I am, I am deciding to put more stock in my mothers and grandmothers advice - "think before you speak". This can be considered a personal challenge as sometimes things just fly out of my mouth without a thought to slow them down. It might be something as simple as "You're an Idiot", a sentence you probably say every other day to the same person, not realizing the tole it is taking on them. They may not even realize it, until one day they may just believe what it is your saying to them.

I saw a post on my younger cousins Facebook wall and decided to implement it into my life. It is funny the things that the little babies can teach you. I have posted the image below that I found while scrolling through her beautiful selfies. 

I am so proud of her for posting this to her Facebook wall as it is truly inspiring and will forever be imprinted into my memory. Now sometimes when trying to follow these guidelines things may become tricky. The answer may be yes to both "Is it true" and "Is it Kind". So in this instance just remember that there is always a nice/appropriate way to say things without stomping all over peoples feelings.

Try and think about a time where someone said something that stuck with you forever and affected the way you made decisions or acted in a certain situation. This can be either good or bad. Since I have decided that I would only like to have a positive impact on peoples lives from here on forward I took a step back and looked at people have negatively impacted mine. If I can learn from those instances then hopefully that will change me for the better. One scenario that stood out in my mind was when someone close to me told me that they did something to hurt me because they were made at me. His exact response when I asked him why he did that was "because I was mad at you". And without ever realizing it that one sentence forever changed the way I acted and reacted in scenarios when I sensed this person was mad at me. I was unable to walk away from situations until they were "fixed" and everything was in perfect order. You an imagine how annoying that can be! I have turned into the type of person that can`t stand when someone is mad at me and prior to this particular instance most situations would just bounce right off of me. It was not until I was properly able to identify what started me down this path that I was able to overcome those words.

On the flip side of this one of my best friends Gina was able to be on the positive end of someones words that stuck with her. Her mother shared with her some simple words of wisdom that I am sure we have all heard yet it shaped her into the person that she is today. Her mom always repeated to her "If it is meant to be it will" which she said always rang true to her. I think it was these words that made it easier for Gina to walk away from situations knowing what her mom always taught her. And Gina has repeated these words to me in my many moments of panic and trying to fix situations I deemed to be broken.

To wrap it all up I just think it is funny how some simple sayings and words can really stick with people. My mom use to tell me every time she saw me wearing a new piece of clothing, that leaving the hanger strings on a shirt or dress was extremely ghetto. And to this day when I see a girl or a guy forget them on there clothes, I instantly think Ghetto! I pass that advice along to everyone I see falling into that fashion no no. 

So as a personal goal I am going to be more conscious of what is coming out of my mouth and how it may be heard by other people. Nobody wants to be on the wrong end of someones hurtful words, but everyone would love to be on the positive end.

"Make someone smile whenever you can. You never know how much of a difference you are making in their life at that moment"

Dedicated and Inspired by...

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